Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
As they drove through the training area on their annual inspection, the proud Officer in Charge of the training base waved a hand toward the field and said to the General, “We are extremely proud of our camoflauge training, Sir. Our soldiers blend into the background, completely invisible to the enemy. As a matter of fact, there are over a hundred men hidden in this field and I’m sure even a veteran soldier like yourself cannot detect one . .…
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Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have happened since the beginning of the month! (While full of hope, I wrote you a letter.) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I absolutely wrecked my brain studying all year! Not only was I first in my class, but I…
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Name:Woman Symbol:WO Atomic weight:(Don’t go there) Physical Properties:Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties:Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Also able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage:Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful…
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Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking; the other, cleaning.
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With the Christmas season approaching, please look into your heart to help those in need. Hundreds of National Basketball Association players in our very own country are living at or below the seven-figure salary level. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks- possibly a whole year as a result of the current lock-out situation. But now you can help! For only $20,835.46 a month, about 694.50 a day (that’s less than…
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It was autumn, and time for the blonde farmer to go over his books. To his puzzlement, he found that his flock of Rhode Island Reds was twice as profitable, in terms of eggs they produced, as was his flock of White Leghorns. “Look at this, he said to his wife. “I’ve gone over the numbers again and again, and there’s no doubt about it: the Reds are laying twice as many eggs and bringing in twice the money of…
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One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter’s portrait for a class assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him the porportions in the painting were incorrect. “The head is too big,” the professor explained. “The…
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Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, “Vietnam, 1969.” The other hooks his thumb behind him says, “Dog shit, 20 feet back.”
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The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with…
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A young couple has been married five years but Debbie has been unable to get pregnant. Then, having missed her menstrual period for a second consecutive month, she visits her doctor who examines her and gives her the good news. “Congratualtions, Debbie,” he smiles, “You’re going to have a baby.” On the bus going home, Debbie is so happy that she is bursting to tell somebody. She glances at the friendly-looking man sitting beside her and says “Excuse me, sir,…
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