Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Men think computers should be referred to as females, just like ships, because: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message “Bad command or file name” is about as informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, I’m certainly not going to tell you.” 4. Your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 5.…
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A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig von Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backwards! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.…
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Fashion model, Twiggy, of the 70s, decided that she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered this upscale department store and approached the saleslady in Lingerie, “Do you have a Size 28AAA-AAA-AAA bra?” The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so Twiggy left the store and proceeded to another department store where she was rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in…
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A really huge, muscular guy with a bad stutter, goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-en’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him. Finally, the guy storms off in anger!!! The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, “Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s question?” The clerk replies, “D-d-d-do…
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A guy and his beautiful girlfriend go into to this bar. The guy sits down and the beautiful girl tells her boyfriend that she is going to the bar to order her favorite mixed drink. She walks up to the bar to order the drink and along comes this drunk guy slurring, “Damn, baby, you are so fine, I would love to suck on those tits of yours!” She replies, “How dare you talk to me that way, my boyfriend…
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A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn’t close a large suitcase. The groom said, “Darling, you get on top and I’ll try.” That…
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THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN His first name was Jesus He was bilingual He was always being harassed by the authorities THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK He called everybody “brother” He liked Gospel He couldn’t get a fair trial THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH He went into his father’s business He lived at home until he was 33 He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God THREE PROOFS THAT…
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The Welfare Department received these letters from American citizens: 1. I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead. 2. Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life. 3. I want money as quick as I can get it, so I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do me any good. If things don’t improve I will have to send…
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Two guys are eating lunch in a leper colony. (Leper – really nasty looking with skin disorders) The guy on the left looks at the guy on his right, barfs, and runs out of the room. The guy on the right is left in bewilderment. He looks around and says “Well damn, I must be getting pretty damn ugly.” The lady sitting across from him looks over and says “Don’t worry, it’s not you at all, it was the guy…
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There was a strange performance at the LA Philarmonic the other day… It was Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, and it was dedicated to Sammy Sosa… He and his wife got a standing ovation as they took their front-row seats… As the orchestra began to play, the Base players, who don’t have any part until an hour into the Symphony, began to get bored…they held a whispered conversation, and decided to slip quietly out to the Lobby for a few drinks…so they…
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