Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, asshole. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?…
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~The following are actual winning analogies in the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest~ They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers…
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Two men, sitting side by side in a 747 jet, started to talk. One told the other that this was his first flight. They left New York City for Los Angeles. They landed in Chicago, whereupon a little red truck pulled up and refueled the plane. They again landed to refuel in Denver. Another little red truck pulled up to the plane. Then they took off once again. As they were about to land at their destination, the veteran flier…
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A man and his wife have finished watching a TV movie about a woman who hires a private investigator to find out if her husband is really cheating on her. The man turns to his wife and asks, “Would you do what that woman on TV did?” The woman thinks for a moment and then says, “Well, probably not so much to find out who the other woman is but to see if I could find out what in heaven’s…
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A jumbo jet took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH NO!!!” Silence followed and after a few anxious minutes, the pilot came back on the…
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Three men were arguing which animal was the meanest. The first said, “A lion was meanest with big claws and teeth it could tear a person up in a second.” The second man said, “No, it has to be a rhinocerous with that big horn and thick hide it could tear a house down in a minute.” The third man said, “No, the meanest animal on earth is a crocagator.” The other two said, “What the hell is a crocagator.…
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Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.The Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President’s staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field…
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Once I was caught by an eye-catching phase that said “Take A Chance”. It was on a small box that had a picture of a beautiful car so I immediately filled out the information on the card, folded it up and placed it in the box. The next thing I knew, I had extra charges on my phone bill and my long distance company had been changed. I immediately switched back and everytime I see one of those boxes, I…
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There once was a farmer named Bob. Bob had a pet snake named Nate. Bob was very fond of Nate — Nate went with him out to the fields, ate dinner with him, and even slept at the foot of his bed. One day Bob noticed that a wash out was forming near the road to his house. If it got any bigger it would take out his house. So he went to town and got a bunch of cement,…
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These two guys are sitting in a pub, getting hammered. One turns to the other and asks, “So, whe’re ya from?” “I’m from Dublin”, the other replies. “Dublin!, me *hic* too…bartender, get us a beer!” A moment later he asks again, “Where did ye *hic* go ta school?” The man answers, “St. Mary’s, *belch* graduated in ’46.” “St. Mary’s? 46!?”…exclaims the man, “Tarbender, *hic-belch* get us another beer!” “So, what part of Dublin did ya *belch* grow up in?” “The…
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