Night man Jokes - page 28

Honeymoon Pictures

On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. “Oh, oh, aaahhh,” he exclaims. “My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture.” Puzzled she asks, “MY picture?” He answers, “Yes my…

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Another poopie list

Someone I know found this joke for me. It made me laugh so it might work on you! Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet…

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Be Prepared

A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other. She asks, “What’s this for?” “This is for your headache,” he says. She replies, “But I don’t have a headache.” He smiles and says, “Gotcha!”

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Gambling

A fellow was about to enter a bar when a dog said to him, “Hey, mister! Wanna make some quick money?” The man couldn’t believe his ears. He said to the dog, “Can you talk?” “Yeah,” the dog answered, “and that’s how we can pick up some easy money. You take me into the bar with you, pretend I’m your dog, and bet everybody I can talk.” The fellow thought that was a great idea, so he took the dog…

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The Big Game Hunter

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…

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Red Shirt

One day an English ship is sailing along, when suddenly a ship of pirates attacks them. Before the pirates board the English captain commands the first mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The first mate goes and gets his shirt. Then the English crew fight off the pirates. Later on the English ship encounters three pirate ships. Once again the captain tells the first mate, “Fetch me my red shirt!” The first mate gets the shirt. Then the English crew…

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First Sexual Experience

Jim, who is 17, normally goes out and is home by 11:00 but one night 11:00 passes and Jimmy is not home yet. His father gets really worried and waits outside the house for him. 12:00 passes, 1:00, finally at 2:00 Jimmy gets home. His father, who is furious by this time, asks him why he is late. Jimmy replies, “Dad, I had my first sexual experience today!” His dad is all excited and proud. He puts his arm around…

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Rules For Women

1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. 2. Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany. 3. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers. 4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? SHUT THE DOOR! 5. So many men — so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. 6. If they put a man on the moon, we should be able…

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Waiter…. Oh Waiter!

Customer: Waiter! There is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry sir, the spider in the bread will get it. Customer: Waiter! There is a spider in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry! The frog should surface any moment now. Customer:Waiter, There’s another fly in my soup. Waiter: Now, there is a fly that knows some good soup. But if you insist I will get you the fly swatter. Customer: What is the fly doing in my soup? Waiter: It…

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Where you from??

The cleaning crew was cleaning the lobby of an impressive hotel. They cleaned around a guest who had obviously imbibed a bit much, to the point where he was sprawled across several chairs, his clothes were in disarray, and he was moaning gently. They went on and cleaned the rest of the hotel, and as they were ending their shift 8 hours later, one of the crew (his name was Joe) noticed the drunk hadn’t moved. Joe thought about it…

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