Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was an old man sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out when a young jogger came by and asked him what was the matter. The old man says, “I’m a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not …(sob)” The young jogger says, “Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed…
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The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…
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10. Playing Santa at the Center for Bladder Control. 9. Operating a band saw after drinking a 12-pack of beer. 8. Attending All-you-can-eat buffet at Taco Bell the night before that big job interview. 7. Licking red-hot projector bulbs. 6. Midnight ocean swims after attending a crack party. 5. Clicking web links labeled “Your Internet Portal To Hell!” 4. Downloading Fran Drescher MP3 files. 3. Slicing tough, frozen bagels with razor-sharp steak knife, not an FDA-approved bagel slicing device with…
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Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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Ole, Lena and Sven were lost in the woods of Northern Minnesota and were becoming desperate, having run out of food several days ago. It was winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole dug down into the snow to look for nuts, he found an oil lamp and upon rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out. The genie says, “I am da great genie of Nordern Minnesooota and I can…
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This young man was going golfing one day, but he wasn’t very good. He had been hitting the ball in the rough, the water, and soon a sand trap. By the time he hit the sand trap he was very annoyed. So he stood there swinging at the ball but missing and in the process digging a hole. Soon he hit something hard (not the golf ball). He bent over and dug it up to see what it was. When…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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A couple were sitting in their house one night contemplating whether or not to go to a Holloween Costume Party they’d been invited too. The wife says, “You go on honey. I’ve got a great big headache and I don’t feel like going anyway.” The husband consented and he went to the party. About an hour later the wife feels better and her headache is gone. She decides, “What the hell. I’ll go to the party and fool my husband…
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Once upon a time there was a stork family – papa stork, mama stork and baby stork. One evening papa stork didn’t show up for dinner. Mama stork and baby stork left the food out for him but he didn’t come home at all that night. When papa stork finally did come home the next day, baby stork asked, “Papa stork, where were you last night?” “Out making a young couple very happy,” replied papa stork. Several weeks later, mama…
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Sam got a new job in an all-night, all-purpose superstore. He was there about an hour when a man walked in. “Hello,” said the man. “Hello, what can I get you?” said Sam. “I’d like a packet of nails please.” Sam got the nails, gave them to the man and said, “That’ll be one ninety-nine please”. The man paid the money and left. The Store Manager came quickly over, and hissed at sam. “What were you doing?” “What?” said our…
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