Next morning Jokes - page 7

Early Phone Calls

Barry, who is noted for his tact, was awakened one morning at four o’clock by his ringing telephone. “YOUR DOG’S BARKING, AND IT’S KEEPING ME AWAKE,” said an irate voice. The man thanked the caller and politely asked his name before hanging up. The next morning at four o’clock, Barry called his neighbor back. “Sir,” he said, “I don’t have a dog.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeEarly Phone Calls

NUTS

Miss Thelma McDonald, a sweet little old lady, got a great deal of pleasure out of feeding the squirrels in her back yard. There seemed to be a female and a male, whom she named Bonnie and Clyde, and several smaller squirrels whom she assumed were their children. Every morning she would leave mixed nuts under her beautiful sycamore and watch her furry little friends come for breakfast. Her next door neighbor, old Mr. Curdy, did not enjoy the squirrels.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNUTS

Firewater? Tea?

The missionaries were doing their best to convert the local Indians, and to stop their consumption of liquor but to no avail. Finally they introduced them to tea. Iced tea, hot tea, etc. The Indians loved it! They drank it every morning, every afternoon, evenings. It was great! Soon tho, it seemed to get out of hand. All this tea drinking, all the time… even at their parties and pow-wows. One pow-wow in particular it seemed they must’ve overdone it.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFirewater? Tea?

Stupid Questions

Q. Now, doctor, isn’t it true that, when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? ————————— Q. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? ————————— Q. She had three children, right? A. Yes. Q. How many were boys? A. None. Q. Were there any girls? ————————— Q. Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you? A. I went to Europe, sir. Q. Did you…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeStupid Questions

Praise the Lord!

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, “PRAISE THE LORD!” Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations that he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!” Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for God to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD! God,…

(1)Loading...

Read JokePraise the Lord!

Hoshimota

An American businessman goes on business to Japan. He tells his assistant that night to get him some ‘entertainment.’ So his assistant gets him a hooker. The whole night this Japanese hooker keeps screaming, ‘Hoshimota, hoshimota!’ He thinks he is doing it really, really good. The next morning he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner, who makes a hole in one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and patting him on the back. The…

(5)Loading...

Read JokeHoshimota

The Big Game Hunter

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Big Game Hunter

Call Guinness

Three midgets were sitting at a tavern one afternoon. One of the midgets, sat quietly,staring at his hands for the longest time. Before long his friend asked him,” Hey, what the hell are you doing?” “Well”, he exclaimed, “I was just noticing that I have the smallest hands of anyone I have ever seen!” ” Oh yeah”, said his partner, “you think that’s bad you should see my feet” Just then the third midget returned from the restroom and questioned,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCall Guinness

Trip to Hawaii

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist”garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a “drop dead”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTrip to Hawaii

Nine o’ five

I was playing golf one morning and a friend asked if he could play a round against me. I told him, “Sure. What time do you want me to meet you here?” He said, “Nine o’ clock … Maybe nine o’ five.” Sure enough, the next day he is there to tee off at nine o’ clock sharp. He tees off right-handed and I tee off right-handed. We played eighteen holes and he beat me by two strokes. I congratulated…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNine o’ five