Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
TOP 20 JEWISH COUNTRY-WESTERN SONG TITLES 20. “If You Want to Play in Tel Aviv, You Gotta’ Have a Clarinet in the Band” 19. “I’ve Got Your Yarmulke, She’s Got You” 18. “You Put Out All The Candles On The Menorah Of My Heart” 17. “Achey-Breakey Matzoh” 16. “I Got Friends in Low Synagogues” 15. “My New Rabbi’s Named Jack Daniels” 14. “Bubba Shot the Cantor” 13. “Honkey Tonk Nights on the Golan Heights” 12. “My Rowdy Friend Elijah’s Comin’…
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A newfie had been on a desert island for 40 years and had never seen another person. One day a lifeboat came ashore with a beautiful girl in it. She was amazed to find him alive after 40 years and asked him how he had survived. “Well, he said,I ate a lot of nuts, kept myself in shape and dug a lot of clams and ate a lot of clams.” She said, “Clams are good, but have you had sex…
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THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…
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Microsoft has announced that Win98 will be released with a suggested retail price of $109US. Inside sources have been able to determine the cost of each of the Win98 “features”: $1 – Disk Defragmenter Optimization Wizard $1 – Windows System Update $1 – System File Checker Utility $1 – Windows Tune-Up Wizard $1 – Dr. Watson Utility $1 – New Backup Utility $1 – New Accessibility Tools $1 – FAT32 $1 – Windows 98 HelpDesk $1 – System Troubleshooter $1…
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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!” “Hell,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car, it’s hundreds of them!”
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Little known state mottos: Alabama: “Segregation now, Segregation Forever!” Alaska: “Land of 11,623 drunken Eskimos” Arizona: “It’s not the heat….” Arkansas: “Litterasy Ain’t Everything” California: “Land of the ‘Quakers’.” Colorado: “If you don’t ski, don’t come.” Connecticut: “Home of the ‘term life’ policy.” Delaware: “Home of prison floggings and an age 7 ‘consent law’.” Florida: “Ask Us About Our Grandkids.” Georgia: “Going to church? Bring your own snake.” Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (“If you’ve got the money,…
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After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer’s job. The bishop…
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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “Oldest trick in the book,” I informed him. “You go in to see what’s wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you…
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