Monica Jokes - page 5

Ted Kennedy approached President Clinton after hearing his address to the nation and said, “Mr. President, I just want you to know that if there’s anything I can do to help, anything at all, just ask.” Clinton replied, “Could you drive Monica home?”

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Q: Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is an only child??? A: Monica swallowed the others.

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Why doesn’t Chelsea Clinton have any brothers or sisters? Cause Monica swallowed them!

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Looking for some new investments? …..you may want to consider the following before you invest: The U.S. Treasury has just announced that it will sell three new types of bonds: 1. The Al Gore bond, which has no interest. 2. The Monica Lewinsky bond, which has no maturity And… 3. The Bill Clinton Bond, which has no principle.

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What does Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? “Insert Bill here”

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What does monica lewensky and a vending machine have in common? They both say insert bill here.

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Question: Where was Monica Lewinsky during the President’s State of the Union speech? Answer: Hiding behind the podium. That’s why Clinton had a smile on his face.

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Why Bill used a Cigar? Monica forced him to . . . she settled for the bigger one.

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CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…

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