Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Matt and Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s… Of University Life: Do – Ask questions when in doubt. Don’t – Call your professor “P. Daddy Spanks”. Do – Bring books to class. Don’t – Bring your pet Tree Frog “Mittens” to class. Do – Buy second hand books. Don’t – Buy home made books out of the back of Slimmy Jakes truck. Do – Form a study group. Don’t – Let the crazy old guy that lives in the dumpster out…
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A fellow was joined at the bar by a beautiful woman who soon approached the man with an offer. “I’ll make your dreams come true,” she whispered, “for a hundred and fifty dollars.” “That’s a lot of money,” the guy pointed out, admiring her voluptuous body. “I’m worth it,” she assured him breathily. “For a hundred and fifty dollars, I’ll act out any fantasy. In fact, I can make any three words come true. Just dream them up, baby.” Any…
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“I don’t want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.” ?Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000 “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”?LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 “If I’m the president, we’re going to…
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There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians. Then their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers’ deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly. All of a…
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A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labor is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. “I’m afraid I don’t have a husband,” she replies. “OK, do you have a boyfriend?” asks the Midwife. “No, no boyfriend either.” “Do you have a partner then?” “No, I’m unattached; I’ll be having my baby on my own.” After the birth, the midwife again speaks to the young woman. “You have…
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Confucius say: “Virginity like bubble. One prick … all gone!” “Man who run in front of car get tired.” “Man who run behind car get exhausted.” “Foolish man give wife Grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ!” “Man with one chopstick go hungry.” “Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.” “Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.” “Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.” “War does not determine who right. War determine who…
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Well it came to pass, that the richest man in the world had finally expired. Bill Gates shows up one fine heavenly day at the Pearly Gates and beckons on St. Peter… ST. PETE: “Well Mr. Gates, it appears there has been a mistake here, I don’t see your name on the list. BILL: “Are you sure, search again” ST. PETE:” OK, let’s see, theres, Jobs, Woz, Ellison, Clark, NOPE! No Gates!” “Sorry, Mr. Gates but unfortunately money can’t buy…
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Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where…
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This guy is sitting at the end of a bar and sees this really beautiful lady at the other end of the bar. He tells the bartender, “Hey send her a drink.” The bartender says, “Why would you want to do that she’s a lesbian?” The man says, “Man, it’s my money, don’t question me!!” So the bartender sends her a drink. A little bit later the man says, “Hey bartender send her another drink.” The bartender says, “Man, I…
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A wild-eyed man, dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand inside his coat, entered the psychiatrist’s office and nervously exclaimed, “Doctor, I need your help right away.” “I can see that,” retorted the doctor. “Lie down on that couch, and tell me your problem.” “I don’t have any problem,” the man snapped. “In fact, as Emperor of France, I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power–everything! But I’m afriad my wife, Josephine, is in deep…
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