Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney interrupts, “Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.” The Godfather says, “Well…ask him where the damn money is”…
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One day a woman was walking along the beach thinking of the sad state of her life, for her husband had just told her that he wanted a divorce. As she was walking, she tripped over something in the sand. The woman picked the object up, revealing a lamp. The woman rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared before her. “I will grant you three wishes,” the genie said, “but whatever you wish for, your husband will get double.” The…
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A man was walking on the sidewalk when he spotted a lamp. When he rubbed it, he was granted three wishes. “However,” the genie said, “every lawyer in the world will receive your wish twice.” The man agreed. “For my first wish, I would like a million dollars,” the man said. POOF! He had a million dollars. “Now every lawyer has two million dollars. What is your second wish?” the genie asked. “I’d like a Ferrari,” the man replied. POOF!…
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Rodney sat in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” his lawyer asked. “Give me the bad news first.” “Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.” “That’s the bad news?” asked Rodney, incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news!” “Well, it’s of you and your mistresss.”
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Warning: Some of these facts may have expired. Was written in 1995. Also, this is VERY long, but PLEASE read it all… Q. What was the longest MONOPOLY game ever? A. 70 days Q. How many little green houses have been built since the MONOPOLY game began? A. Approximately 5.1 Billion Q. What is the longest MOMOPOLY game ever played upside down? A. 36 hours Q. What’s the most frequently rolled number with the dice? A. 7 Q. What’s the…
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This man’s lawyer calls him up to come down to the office. “I really have to see you.” When he gets there the lawyer says, “I’ve got some bad news and I’ve got some terrible news for you.” The man says “Oh swell, I guess tell me the terrible news first.” The lawyer says, “Your wife just found a picture worth a half million dollars.”” Wow that’s great” said the man “If thats bad news what could be the terrible…
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Last week my son came up to me and asked me the difference between potential and reality. I told him to go to his mum and ask if she’d sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars, and then to go to his sister, and ask if she’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. He did just that. He went up to my wife and said, “Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million?” to which she…
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Some say lawyers get a raw deal: There’s always another joke around the corner. A NASA official is interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one can go, and he can’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, is asked how much he wants to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answers, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, is asked the same question. He asks for $2 million. “I…
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Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and asks for their order. The man says, “I’ll have a beer.” He turns to the ostrich and asks “What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too,” says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says, “That will be $3.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man…
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