Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Q. What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A. It’s not hard. Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Q: Who is the most…
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Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble that they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom, decreed, “I’ll hear from everyone, starting with the oldest first.” The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.
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Why don’t women need watches? Because there is a clock on the stove.
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President Clinton was being entertained by an African leader. They’d spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.” President Clinton frowned. “Russian roulette’s not a very friendly game.” The African leader smiled. “That’s why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our…
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A five-year-old boy walks into his parents’ bedroom just as his full-chested mom is about to put on her bra. “What are those, Mommy?” he asks, pointing to her breasts. “Oh, those are balloons, Jimmy. When women die, they inflate and float you up to Heaven.” The following week, Jimmy runs into the kitchen where his mother is preparing lunch. “Mommy, come quick, Aunt Betty is dying!” cries the little boy. “What do you mean she’s dying??” asks Mommy. “She’s…
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I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. Don’t worry about the world ending today….It’s already tomorrow in Australia. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. Character is what you are. Reputation is what people THINK you are. Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing…
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1. If you pay dues on a tatoo. 2. If you’ve been on the news five times explaining what the tornado did. 3. If people often come to your door thinking you were having a yardsale. 4. If you mow your yard and find a car. 5. If you hear the term “modem” and think of what you did to your roses last week. 6. If you see a sign that says “Say no to crack” and it reminds you…
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This jobless guy goes into a job centre looking for work, and is told that he’ll HAVE to take whatever job he picks at random from a bucket. So he delves deep, and pulls out one that says “TURKEY WANKER REQUIRED”. He has no option, and goes to this nearby farm. He speaks to the farmer, who explains that the latest craze in Japan is for women to smear turkey spunk on their faces to prevent wrinkles. And the farmer…
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THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. BUTT (but) n. female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look…
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to be sung to “Walkin In A Winterwonderland” Lacy things – wife is missin’, Didn’t ask her permission, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin’ round in women’s underwear. In the store – there’s a teddy Little straps – like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walking round in women’s underwear. In the office there’s a guy named Marvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He’ll say, “Are you ready?” I’ll say “Whoa, Man!” “Let’s wait until our…
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