Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jesus is wandering around Jerusalem when he decides he really needs a new robe. After looking around, he sees a sign for ‘Finkelstein, the Tailor.’ He goes in and Finkelstein prepares a new robe for him, which is a perfect fit. When Jesus asks how much he owes, Finkelstein brushes him off: “No, no, no, for the Son of God? There’s no charge! However, may I ask a small favor? Maybe whenever you give a sermon you could just mention…
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“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…
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I think Santa Claus is a woman…. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It’s as if they are all frozen in some kind of ebenezerian Time…
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A local TV station sponsored a fabulous contest, the grand prize being a 30-day all expense paid trip around the world. Three gentlemen were selected as finalists, and as a final task each were given 14 days to accumulate as many ping pong balls as they could. The three men all set out on their unusual journey. After 5 days the first gentleman returned in a Chevy pickup truck, filled to the top with small white ping pong balls. “Great!…
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PERSONAL AD DEFINITIONS (What they REALLY mean) FIRST THE WOMEN 40-ish……………… 48 Adventurer………….. Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic……………. Flat-chested Average looking……… Ugly Beautiful…………… Pathological liar Contagious Smile…….. Bring your penicillin Educated……………. College dropout Emotionally Secure…… Medicated Feminist……………. Fat; ball buster Free spirit…………. Substance user Friendship first…….. Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun………………… Annoying Gentle……………… Comatose Good Listener……….. Borderline Autistic New-Age…………….. All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned……….. Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded…………. Desperate…
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A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, “Mom I’ve got a problem.” She says “Tell me.” He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn’t understand. She asks him what they are. He says, “Well, pussy and bitch”. She says, “Oh, that’s no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy”. He thanks her and goes to visit dad in…
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(this joke is written and told by a true COON-ASS so if you can spoke like a true CAJUN you guna like dis one real good. (DONT WORRY ABOUT THE SPELLING!!!) ONE TIME, FATHER THIBODEAUX WAS JUST ABOUT TO GIVE HIS TALK AT HIS CHURCH. HIS CHURCH IS USUALLY FULL, HOWEVER, DIS TIME, THERE WAS ONLY TWO OLD WOMEN IN THE PEWS. FATHER THIBODEAUX TOLD THE TWO OLD LADIES TO HOLD ON, HE WAS COMING RIGHT BACK. FATHER THIBODEAUX WENT…
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1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…
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A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. He finally jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day the wife feeling bad about what happened decided to buy her husband a gift, and since he was an avid golfer she went to the pro shop where he usually went. She talked with the pro and he suggested a putter and he showed her one of his finest. “How much is it?” she asked.…
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English in Non-English Speaking Countries! Examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world: In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In…
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