Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man is walking down the beach and sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie merges. She says, “Normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you SOB, I am going to grant only 1.” He thinks a minute and says “OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed.” She says “So be it!” and…
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There were 3 men in a bar talking about picking up women. One was very apprehensive about approaching women. One of the other men says, “It’s not that hard, watch me.” He walks up to a lady and says, “Your place or mine?” She says, “Mine,” and they leave. The second guys turns to the apprehensive one and says, “See that wasn’t too hard, now watch me.” So, he walks up to a lady and says, “Your place or mine?”…
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A sultan is bored with all the jugglers and clowns, so he warns his servant, “Unless you find some good entertainment for me tonight, it’s off with your head!” The man is terrified, but he vows he will not fail. Day turns to night, and it’s time for the show. “Well what have you got for me?” the sultan booms. “Tonight, Sire,” squeaks the servant, “we have a man who will make love to a dozen women before your very…
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Mens Guide to what Women are really saying. —————————————- “We need” = “I want” “It’s your decision ” = “The correct decision should be obvious by now.” “Do what you want” = “You’ll pay for this later.” “We need to talk” = “I need to complain” “I’m not upset” = “Of course I’m upset, you moron!” “You’re so… manly” = “You need a shave and you sweat a lot.” “Be romantic, turn out the lights.” = “I have flabby thighs.”…
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A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay…
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* Horn broken. Watch for finger. * Keep honking…I’m reloading. * Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot. * All generalizations are false. * Cover me. I’m changing lanes. * I brake for no apparent reason. * Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control. * I’m not as think as you drunk I am. * Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal. * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of…
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NEW YORK It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. The penalty for jumping off a building is death. NEW JERSEY You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service only. In Ocean City, it is against the law to slurp your soup at a restaurant. CALIFORNIA It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license. Women may not drive in a house coat. FLORIDA It is illegal to…
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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?” “Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too…
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Q. What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A. It’s not hard. Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Q: Who is the most…
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President Clinton was being entertained by an African leader. They’d spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.” President Clinton frowned. “Russian roulette’s not a very friendly game.” The African leader smiled. “That’s why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our…
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