Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe. I don’t live off of yogurt, diet Coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to – north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers, and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears. I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear. I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And…
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Q:How many passengers can fit in a VW Beetle? A:71….69 at the back and 2 in front watching.
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Q: How many aggies does it take to eat an armadillo? A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch for head lights.
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A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. “I’ll have a pound of that salmon,” he said. “That’s not salmon,” the clerk said. “It’s ham.” “Mister,” the customer snapped, “in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!”
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A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, etc, until each had exactly half. Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The…
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In light of the rising frequency of human-grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of fish and game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions while in the field. They have advised that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle the bears. They further advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of…
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By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where. “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m…
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A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…
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Why are men like lawn mowers? If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it. Why is a hard man good to find? You don’t have to stay up half the night massaging his ego. How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix? It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn’t need it anyway. What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run or don’t fit right…
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After watching Cary Grant on a television broadcast, his mother, then in her nineties, reprimanded him for letting his hair get so gray. “It doesn’t bother me,” he replied carelessly. “Maybe not,” said his mother sternly, “but it bothers me. It makes me seem so old!”
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