two black eyes
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you’ve already told her twice.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Man thing Jokes - page 37
Tips for Life
OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…
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My thoughts, from my mind….
If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…
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New Mother
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65-year old mother says, “Not Yet.” A little while later they ask to see the baby again…and once more the mother says, “Not Yet!”. Finally one of the anxious relatives says, “Well then… when can we see the baby?!?”. And the elderly mother says,…
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Blonde Jokes… A List
How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…
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Biology Lesson
The stunning blonde coed was stunned herself when her biology professor asked her, “What part of the human anatomy enlarges to about ten times its normal size during periods of emotion or excitement?” ” I… I refuse to answer that question!” she stammered as she shyly avoided looking at her classmates sitting nearby. One of them was called upon next, and he correctly answered, “The pupil of the eye.” “Miss Rogers,” Said the professor, “Your refusal to answer my question…
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Electrifying Show and Tell
The teacher asked the students to bring an electrical appliance for “Show and Tell,” and the next day every kid had something. The teacher asks Wendy, “What did you bring? “I brought a Walkman.” “And what is it for?” “You can listen to music with it!” “That’s nice, Wendy. And what did you bring, Kenny?” “I brought a ‘lectrical can opener. It opens cans!” “Well done, Kenny. But it seems that Johnny didn’t bring anything!” “Yes, I did. It’s in…
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The Fastest Gunfighter
The young dude in the Old West wanted to be the fastest gunfighter alive. Sitting in a saloon one night, he spotted an old graybeard who had the reputation of having been the greatest gunslinger of his day. The kid sidled up to the old man and told him of his dream. The ancient legend looked him up and down and said, “I got a suggestion that’s sure to help.” “Tell me, tell me!” said the newbie. “Tie the bottom…
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disabled swimmers
A disabled swimming class is currently on at a swimming pool and a group of cripples are crowding round the pool. “I’ll bet I can swim two lengths in a minute,” says a man with one arm. He jumps in and swims the two lengths in just under one minute. “That’s nothing, I can do it less than that,” says a man with no arms. He jumps in and struggles through the two lengths in a better time to the…
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meanest dog
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and…
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