Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a “dirty son of a bitch” to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office New Year’s Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today, and as this is my last day on the job, I’d like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I…
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“I think we agree, the past is over.”?On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”–Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.) GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb?I haven’t told this to many people.…
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A man was walking down a sidewalk when he saw what appeared to be dog shit. He stopped and touched it. “Hmm… feels like dog shit,” he thought. Then he smelled it, “Hmm… smells like dog shit.” Then he tastes it. “Hmm… tastes like dog shit.” Then he thought, “It’s a good thing I saw that before I stepped on it.”
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An old man gets on a crowded bus, and no one offers to give him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles along, the old man’s cane slips on the floor and he falls. As he slowly gets back up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, “If you would put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn’t slip.” The old man snaps back, “Well, if your daddy had done the…
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Back in the early 60’s, a young fellow walked into a talent agent’s office and said he wanted to break into show-biz. The agent said, “O.K. kid, show me what you can do.” The kid told some jokes, did a little soft shoe, sang a bit, did an acrobatic act with an ottoman and was good enough to impress the agent. “Great kid! Just great!” said the agent. “I can do things for you! I think I can get you…
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Remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Well, here is a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller. __________________________________ In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a…
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HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both mark their territory. 4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them. 5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. 6. Neither does any dishes. 7. Both fart shamelessly. 8. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. 9. Both like dominance games. 10. Both are suspicious of the postman. 11. Neither…
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Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: How old is your son-the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He…
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X-FILE CASE #1224 ================ 57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH Mulder: Scully! We’re too late! It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been here? Mulder: Someone … or something. Scully: Mulder, over here — it’s a fruitcake.…
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One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So, they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer need you. We’re to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don’t you just go on and get lost.” God…
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