Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One sunny Tuesday afternoon, in a bar in Normandy, France, a Barman notices two guys sitting in the corner leaning on each other. The Barman, feelng a bit homophobic, goes over to these two and says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept gay people in this bar! There is a lovely gay bar down the road if you are interested!” The couple look angry and one replies, “I’m sorry to tell you, but we are not gay! We are in…
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Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John’s wife died the same day that Joe’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, “I am sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.” Joe, thinking that she was talking about the boat, said, “Heck no, in fact, I’m sort of glad to…
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(Scene 1) KATE WINSLET: My, this is a fancy boat, isn’t it? KATE’S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes, it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named “Picasso.” I am certain he will amount to nothing. KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our 90’s audience, because they know these priceless paintings will sink with the boat. LEONARDO DiCAPRIO: Hello, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to…
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You might be a redneck if: The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table…. in front of her kids. Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You think…
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A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. “Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. “His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?” “Oh yes, very much,” he said,” but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that…
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A notorious burglar observes the day-to-day activities of an old lady who is living alone in an apartment as he waits for an opportunity to rob her place if she ever leaves. Sure enough when the old lady goes out to attend an early evening mass, the burglar goes into action and manages to break into her apartment. However, as the burglar is looking for anything to steal, the old lady unexpectedly comes back to the apartment as she forgets…
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The English language is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And…
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There’s a blonde sitting on an airplane when a gentleman walks up and says “Excuse me, miss, but you are sitting in my seat.” The blonde responds, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Dallas!” and remains seated. The guy says, “But you are sitting in MY seat. You need to find your seat.” She once again says, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Dallas!” and doesn’t budge. The man is perturbed and calls the flight attendant…
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CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…
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This blonde receptionist is at work when the phone rings. The manager sees all this and thinks nothing of it until she starts sobbing and crying her pretty blue eyes out. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?!” her boss frantically asked. “That was my father, my mother just passed away last night,” she sobbed. “Gee whiz Buffy, that’s too bad. Would you like the rest of the day off to grieve?” “No, I’ll be alright, I just need to stay busy and…
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