Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were 3 women at a bar and they were arguing over which one of them was the loosest. The first woman said, ” My husband can stick two fingers up me.” The second woman said, “Oh, big deal, my husband can stick his whole fist up me.” Then the third woman slid down the bar stool.
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Five of the presidents were taking a cruise when they hit an iceberg. Ford cried: Oh my goodness! What do we do? Reagan said: Man the lifeboats! Carter added: Women and children first. Nixon said: Screw the women and children! And Clinton asked: Do we have time?
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A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle. “And what’s so funny?” the New Yorker demands. “Oh, nothing really, I…
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One day a man went in to talk to his preacher and while he was talking, he was eating away at the peanuts sitting on the preacher’s desk. He did not notice how many peanuts he had eaten, and when he finally looked down, the bowl was empty. The man said to the preacher, “I am so sorry, I didn’t notice that I ate all of your peanuts.” The preacher replied, “Oh, don’t worry about it, son. I just suck…
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An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day passing an 8 year old girl’s house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up his football and says, “See this football? Football is a boys’ game, and only boys can have a football.” The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, “I want a football.” Being a woman of the 90’s, her mother…
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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,…
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Years ago the chaplain of the Notre Dame football team was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an unsportmans-like manner at a recent football game. “I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents.” “Ahhh that’s a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin’,” the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across…
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The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the…
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The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what I looked for in a woman. Naturally I replied, “Big tits.” He said, “No, I meant for a serious relationship.” So I said, “Oh, seriously big tits.” “No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?” He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing…
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One day there was a woman waiting for her husband to come home from work. When he got home she said, “Listen, I need you to fix the stairs, they are creaking again.” Her husband replied, “Look, I had a hard day at work all I want is to have a beer and go to bed. Does it look like I have carpenter written across my forehead?” So he had his beer and went to bed. The next day when…
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