Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
December 14th Dearest John: I went to the door today and UPS was here with a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes December 15th Dearest John: Today, UPS brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves? I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16th Dear John: Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now…
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One…
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This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she…
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This appeared in a local Sunday magazine recently. For those unfamiliar with the Star Wars saga, James Earl Jones was the voice of that great villain Darth Vader. But those Star Wars fans will surely appreciate this fanciful article : Supposedly James Earl Jones is Vassar College’s Commencement speaker for this year. Oddly, this event coincides with the release of the much awaited “Phantom Menace” and the unexpected popularity of Baz Luhrmann’s “Sunscreen Song” (which, if you haven’t had your…
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Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?” “I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.” “I don’t mean that,” the priest responded. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?” “Oh, sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of…
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While German composer Johannes Brahms could be agreeable and interesting, he could also be difficult, sarcastic and rude. Even his friends were not immune to unprovoked verbal attacks. On one occasion he upset a gathering of friends with a series of offensive remarks, then rose to his feet and left the room, stopping briefly at the door to say, “If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.”
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A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thought the gentleman. “I’ve always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I’ll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. “This is…
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A man was walking through the park when he noticed a woman crying her heart out. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Schultz is dead! Schultz is dead! Boo hoo hoo!” the woman sobbed. Since he did not know who Schultz was, the man moved on. Then he came upon another woman crying. “Schultz is dead!” wailed this woman. The man just went on his way. Along the way, he met another woman crying. Then another. And another. And another. All of…
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A man walks into the front door of a tavern, obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, belches, and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink and could not be served additional alcohol at this bar, and would he like a cab to be called for him. The drunk is briefly surprised, then quietly grumbles as he gets…
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Some folks have it, some don’t. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don’t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s an nifty toy, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don’t have it would like to try it.…
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