Man man Jokes - page 89

A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. “Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?” she asks. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. “A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?” she inquires. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”…

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These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: “Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.” In a London, England cemetery: “Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid, But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767” In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”…

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Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where…

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This guy is sitting at the end of a bar and sees this really beautiful lady at the other end of the bar. He tells the bartender, “Hey send her a drink.” The bartender says, “Why would you want to do that she’s a lesbian?” The man says, “Man, it’s my money, don’t question me!!” So the bartender sends her a drink. A little bit later the man says, “Hey bartender send her another drink.” The bartender says, “Man, I…

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Joe, a small young businessman was having a conversation with a large construction worker. It was about what would they would do if an atomic war had been declared and they only had twenty minutes to live. The construction worker said that he would fuck anything that moved. He then asked Joe what he would do. Joe replied, “I would stand perfectly still.”

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