Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A down-on-his-luck artist visits the art gallery where all of his paintings are on display. He sees the art dealer standing in front of the art gallery and accosts the latter, “So how did my paintings do today?” The art dealer smiles and says, “Well, I got good news and bad news.” “Well, give me the good news first. I haven’t had such luck these days,” sighs the struggling artist. “This morning, a gentleman walks in and asks me if…
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The little old man rubs the lamp and the genie appears. The little old man unrolls a map and says “see this map? It’s the Middle East. My wish is that all the people in all the countries on this map could live in peace forever.” The genie says, “No way can I do that. It’s too much for me. You got another wish?” The little old man says, “Well, in that case maybe you could fix it so my…
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Due to increasing products liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all alcoholic drink containers: Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.…
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One fine summer day three newfies decided to move to Alberta and find work. The first place they stopped at was Alberta Power and applied for labourer positions. The foreman for Alberta Power asked them if they had ever planted power line poles before to which they replied, “No bye, but we’s be fast learners and quick too.” So the foreman said, “Alright, show up tomorrow morning and I’ll give you a try.” The next morning the three newfies showed…
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A man stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for his wife. As the clerk was putting on the finishing touches on bouquet, another man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses. “I’m sorry,” the clerk said. “This man just ordered our last bunch.” The desperate customer turned to the other man and begged, “May I please have those roses?” “What happened?” the first man asked. “Did you forget your wedding anniversary?” “It’s…
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The manager of a large office noticed a new employee one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. “Al,” the new guy replied. The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my…
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A teacher was working with her pupils, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. One day she brought in rolls of lifesavers of all flavors. “Children,” she announced, passing out the lifesavers, “I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these and then tell me what they are.” The kids managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons, and mint, but when the teacher gave them the honey-flavored lifesavers, every one of the kids was stumped. “I’ll give…
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One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. “Goodness,” says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says,…
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Name three things a man is good for. THREE?! Hell I can’t even think of one!!!!
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A drunk gets on a transit bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop. He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus. Still the man is fumbling in his pockets for change. The bus jerks forward once again, and the drunk…
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