Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This man came home from work and asked his wife if they could have pork (other white meat) for dinner. The wife said that they are already having chicken and that chicken is better for them. He didn’t want to argue so instead of fighting he settled for chicken. He saw a commercial on t.v for a hypnosis that you can use in someone’s sleep. So every night for the next two weeks he stayed up for 2 hours and…
(1)
Loading...
A man was paying his lawyer a visit. The lawyer said, “I have bad news and worse news for you.” The man said, “Give me the bad news first.” “Your wife has gotten hold of a picture worth half a million dollars!” “That’s bad news? What could be worse than that?” asked the man. “Well, it’s a picture of you and your secretary.”
(1)Loading...
“You Are Different and That’s Bad” “Dad’s New Wife Timothy” “Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games” “Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets” “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence” “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables” “Start a Real Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy” “Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will” “The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead” “How to Become The Dominant…
(1)Loading...
Things Dogs Must Try To Remember…. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it. I will…
(2)Loading...
A WORKER ON A BUILDING SITE RUSHED UP TO THE FOREMAN. ‘RAMA RAMU!’ HE CRIED.’SOMEONE JUST DROPPED A AXE FROM THE TOP OF THE BUILDING AND CHOPPED MY EAR OFF’ IMMEDIATELY THE FOREMAN ORGANISED A SEARCH PARTY TO FIND THE EAR IN HOPE THAT SURGEONS MIGHT BE ABLE TO SEW IT ON AGAIN. ‘HERE IT IS’CRIED ONE OF THE SEARCHERS, WAVING THE EAR. ‘NO, THAT’S NOT MINE,’SAID THE INJURED WORKMAN. ‘MINE HAD A PENCIL BEHIND IT!’
(0)Loading...
After I had grown up and become a man, my father and I were seated in front of the TV, during a football game’s halftime exercises. Dad remarked, “Son, every time I gave you a whipping when you were bad, you’d go into the bathroom and spend about 30 minutes, scrubbing the toilet. You got it spotlessly clean, and I could never figure out why you did that.” Without taking my eyes off the TV, I replied, “I was ‘getting…
(0)Loading...
10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 8. Crying can be fun. 7. FAT CLOTHES. 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a “peak life experience”. 4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is…
(0)Loading...
A man went in to see a palm reader and she was in a really good mood so he punched her out. Seems he wanted to strike a happy medium.
(0)Loading...
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table, in front of her kids. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league,” bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You think “Genitalia” is an Italian airline. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.…
(0)Loading...
After the pompous Congressman was arrested for speeding, he was brought before the judge. The politician spoke in his usual oratorical manner, “I may have been speeding a little bit, Your Honor. But, you see, I’m a Congressman and …” “Ignorance is no excuse!” interrupted the judge who then levied a hefty fine on the erring politician.
(0)Loading...