your mum so fat
Your mum is so fat she can’t tell that she’s a man
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Man man Jokes - page 186
God’s Gift to Women
Two women were chatting at the local rodeo when they noticed a man strut by . . . shirtless and wearing tight cut-off shorts. “He must think,” the first woman said, shaking her head, “that he is God’s gift to women.” The second one laughed and said, “I hope he kept the receipt.”
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Big as…
One day a man walks into his backyard while his wife was tending the flowers, and says to his wife, “Hunny, your ass has gotten to be as big as the grill!” She gets up and says, “That’s not a nice thing to say!” and goes back to work. He comes back out with a tape measure…”Yup, surely ennough, your ass is as big as the grill!” The next Day he hugs his wife and nudges her. “What do you…
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Two guys save a life
Two guys were seated at the end of a bar when a gorgeous young lady sits down at the other end and orders a martini. The two guys are staring at her while she drinks her martini and all of a sudden she begans to choke. The two guys get up and run to her end of the bar. The first guy said “Can you speak?” She shook her head No! The second Guy said “Can you breathe?” She shook…
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Little Johnny’s Bible Lesson
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill. “Johnny what’s the matter?” she asked. Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”
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Why?
Why did the deaf and blind man cross the road? I don’t know, but he sure didn’t know that that truck was coming………
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GATOR WRASSLIN’
In the everglades of Florida, there is an alligator wrestling demonstration going on. The guy is doing his thing with the alligator, the normal stuff you would see like opening the gator’s mouth and placing his inside, putting the gator in a headlock, flipping the gator, etc… Once he is done with this, he turns to the crowd and drops his pants and his underwear. He then reaches into a small wading pool next to him and pulls out a…
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All expenses PAID!
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop, “I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off…
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Closing Time
A bartender is closing for the night when there’s a knock at the back door. When he answers, a dirty-looking homeless guy asks him for a toothpick. The bartender is a little surprised, but he gives him a toothpick and the guy walks away. A few minutes later, there’a a second knock at the door. When he answers, there’s another homeless guy outside who asks for a toothpick. The second man gets his toothpick, and off he goes. A few…
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I’d Love to But . . . (5 surefire excuses)
The man on television told me to stay tuned. I have to check the expiration dates on all my dairy products. I have to fulfill my potential. I promised to help a friend fold road maps. I’m attending the opening of my garage door.
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