Man jump Jokes - page 6

The RE-RUN

One fine afternoon at the new golf course in Alabama, These two men were just finishing up the front nine when they decided to take a breather in the clubhouse. They went up to the lounge room and sat down and ordered a glass of beer. They started flipping thru the channels when they decided to watch the news. The first thing that was on was a woman about to comit suicide. The first man, which was a businessman, said,…

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Emergency flashers

A car breaks down along the expressway one day, so the driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the highway. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trenchcoats. The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. One of the worst pile-ups in history occurs. When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the side of the road, the man…

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The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas

The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…

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16 signs Your Kid’s In The Wrong Pre-School

16) Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of “Lord of the Flies.” 15) Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some waterpaints, and no pants. 14) “OK, kids! Gather ’round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!” 13) Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers. 12) First school fund-raiser is for the Salman Rushdie fatwa reward prize. 11) No student has ever jumped from Mary Margaret’s School for the Gender…

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Military Bravery

A Colonel, a General, and an Admiral were discussing which military branch had the most balls. The Colonel took the General and Admiral to one of his Air Force bases and told one of the airmen there to jump from a flying plane at 30,000 feet. With a quick salute, the airman did as he was told. He went up in the plane and jumped without a parachute at 30,000 feet and splattered all over the place. The Colonel said…

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Husband Drinking

A woman was sick of her husband’s drinking, and decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the couch and screamed. “You don’t scare me,” the man said, looking her over calmly. “I married your sister.”

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Tips for Life

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…

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A Modern Fable

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day, when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally, he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten too much though, and could not get off the ground. As he looked around wondering what to do, he…

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Blonde Jokes… A List

How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…

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The Bronze Rat

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. “Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop owner, “and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it.” “You can keep the story, old man,” he replies, “but I’ll take…

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