Man hom Jokes - page 19

16 signs Your Kid’s In The Wrong Pre-School

16) Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of “Lord of the Flies.” 15) Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some waterpaints, and no pants. 14) “OK, kids! Gather ’round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!” 13) Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers. 12) First school fund-raiser is for the Salman Rushdie fatwa reward prize. 11) No student has ever jumped from Mary Margaret’s School for the Gender…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke16 signs Your Kid’s In The Wrong Pre-School

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION

Plez compleet the follwin best ya can: Name: (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-George (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson Last Name: (If unsure of spelling, write it out the way it sounds) (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Un-employed Spouse’s Name: __________________________ Second Spouse’s Name: __________________________ Mistress’s Name: __________________________ Second Mistress’s Name: __________________________ Number of times you have…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION

On the Job

Medical Student I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeOn the Job

How I Did It

A young lady had just visited her doctor, and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share her good news with someone. The farmer sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with. “Sir,” she said, “I just received the best news…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHow I Did It

True Love

A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day. He was glad for the interlude, because it taught him how much his wife loved him. She was so thrilled to have him around, that when a delivery man or the mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled, “My husband’s home! My husband’s home!”

(1)Loading...

Read JokeTrue Love

Drinking and Gambling

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, “Will you buy booze?” The bum said “No.” The man asked, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum said, “No.” Then the man asked, “Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDrinking and Gambling

More things men will NEVER say…..

1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker. 2. No I don’t want another beer. I have to work tomorrow. 3. Her tits are just too big. 4. Sometimes I just want to be held. 5. That chick on “20/20” gives me a woody. 6. Sure! I’d LOVE to wear a condom. 7. We haven’t been to the mall for ages, let’s go shopping and I can hold your purse. 8. Screw Monday Night Football; let’s watch “Ally McBeal”.…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeMore things men will NEVER say…..

Keeping up with the Jones’

A woman was having an affair when she hears a car pull into the driveway. After looking out of the window she quickly runs to the bathroom and brings out a bottle. She tells that man that her husband is home, but she has a plan. She covers him with talcum powder and advises him to stand in the corner. The woman’s husband walks into the room and looks at the man. “When did we get that statue? Gosh it…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeKeeping up with the Jones’

Do you know what day it is?

“I bet you don’t know what day this is”, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: “Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?” With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDo you know what day it is?

Husband Drinking

A woman was sick of her husband’s drinking, and decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the couch and screamed. “You don’t scare me,” the man said, looking her over calmly. “I married your sister.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHusband Drinking