Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and asks for their order. The man says, “I’ll have a beer.” He turns to the ostrich and asks “What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too,” says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says, “That will be $3.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man…
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Dear Tech Support: Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SundayFootball…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience, she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery, she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her…
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Marilyn had a parrot for a pet, but the parrot would embarass her whenever she came into the apartment with a man. He would shout out all kinds of obscenities, always leading off with “Somebody’s gonna get it tonight! Somebody’s gonna get it tonight!” In desperation, Marilyn went to her local pet shop and explained her parrot problem to the pet shop proprietor. “What you need,” he said, “is a female parrot too. I don’t have one on hand but…
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Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife. To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy. I soon became…
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How many psycho-analyists does it take to change a light bulb? One…but the bulb must be willing to be changed.
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The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and Mr. Rosenthal was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation. “It’s simple,” he said. “Division of labor. My wife makes all the small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, when we need new cars, where we go on vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my job, and so on.” “And you?” “I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if…
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A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Newfie were on shore leave from the Navy. They went into the bar and got completely drunk. The next morning, they awoke hung over and broke. The Englishman said, “I’m going to try something.” He went into the bar and ordered a double Scotch. The bartender brought him the drink and told him, “That’ll be two dollars.” The Englishman said, “I paid you already.” The bartender said, “No you didn’t.” The Englishman began screaming,…
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Once I was caught by an eye-catching phase that said “Take A Chance”. It was on a small box that had a picture of a beautiful car so I immediately filled out the information on the card, folded it up and placed it in the box. The next thing I knew, I had extra charges on my phone bill and my long distance company had been changed. I immediately switched back and everytime I see one of those boxes, I…
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