Man and woman Jokes - page 29

Keeping up with the Jones’

A woman was having an affair when she hears a car pull into the driveway. After looking out of the window she quickly runs to the bathroom and brings out a bottle. She tells that man that her husband is home, but she has a plan. She covers him with talcum powder and advises him to stand in the corner. The woman’s husband walks into the room and looks at the man. “When did we get that statue? Gosh it…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeKeeping up with the Jones’

Do you know what day it is?

“I bet you don’t know what day this is”, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: “Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?” With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDo you know what day it is?

Rules of Flying

I will be flying tomorrow, so let’s take a look at these RULES OF THE AIRWAYS: Takeoff’s are optional. Landings are MANDATORY. Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous. Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided with the sky. The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. LANDING is the first! Everyone knows a “good” landing is one from which you…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeRules of Flying

New Mother

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65-year old mother says, “Not Yet.” A little while later they ask to see the baby again…and once more the mother says, “Not Yet!”. Finally one of the anxious relatives says, “Well then… when can we see the baby?!?”. And the elderly mother says,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNew Mother

Blonde Jokes… A List

How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeBlonde Jokes… A List

That’s a Cow?

On his first date with a woman who wasn’t overly intelligent, Ogden decided to take her to the county fair. While walking around and looking at all the festivities, they came to the area where they auction livestock. Ogen’s date walked up to one of the pens and asked, “Ogden, why doesn’t this cow have horns?” “Well,” replied Ogden, ” sometimes cows don’t get horns until they are 7 or 8 years old. And sometimes, cows don’t get horns until…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThat’s a Cow?

Sex at sea

A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeSex at sea

Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s this, honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room. “Oh, it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. “The Smiths bought one for their bedroom.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeStatue

Cultural Differences

There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman 2 New Zealand men and 1 New…

(6)Loading...

Read JokeCultural Differences

Dining Out

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that??!!” “Oh,” replies the husband, “that was my mistress.” The wife says, “That’s it; I want a divorce.” “I understand,” replies her husband, “but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDining Out