Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have? Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook. Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give you a job. I don’t need much help. Job Applicant: That’s all right.…
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A young man wants to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband. “Hi hon,” he says “how do you like your new phone?” She replies “I just love it! It’s so…
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A man was suffering from a stomach ache so he told his wife, who suggested he try the tablets the Doctor had given her for a similar pain. After taking his wife’s tablets for a week, the pain disappeared, but he developed two rather tender lumps, one behind each ear. He went to his doctor showed him the lumps, and explained what had happened. The Doctor called him all the fools under the sun saying, “You bloody idiot! I was…
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An elderly parish priest became unhappy with the things he was hearing during Saturday confessions. After his sermon one Sunday morning, he said to his congregation, “I’m tired of hearing so many people tell me in confession that they have cheated. For thirty years, people have been saying to me ‘I have cheated with Anthony… I have cheated with Mary… I have cheated with Frankie.’ I am sick and tired of hearing this word. From now on, when you come…
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A man comes home from work to find his wife in the bedroom, packing her suitcase. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks. “I’m leaving’ you for a better life,” she replies. “Where do you think you’re going?” he asks. “I’m going to Las Vegas,” she answers. “I hear they pay $400 for a blowjob there.” The man thinks for a minute, then gets his suitcase out and starts packing, too. “What the hell are YOU doing?” his wife…
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Storming into his lawyer’s office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride. “What’s the problem?” “I want to hit that adulterin’ bitch for breach of contract,” snapped the oil man. “I don’t know if that will fly,” said the lawyer. “I mean your wife isn’t a piece of property. You don’t own her!” “Damn right,” the tycoon rejoined, “but I sure as hell expect exclusive drillin’ rights!”
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An escaped convict broke into a house. He tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom and then proceeded to search the rest of the home. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous wife, bound up on the bed with her shorty nightgown up around her waist, and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex…
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An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They all are talking about how much there lives suck, and how much the bars in their respective home towns are better. Then the Irishman says, “Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there’s a better one. At MacDougal’s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!” The others agree that sounds like…
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You know it’s your last day at work when … You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?” you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife. You sneak into your boss’ office and look at some…
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Every newspaper in New York sent a reporter and a staff photographer to the office of a local ophthalmologist when it was learned that he recently performed a successful sight-saving operation on the wife of the country’s most celebrated pop artist. In addition to paying the doctor’s usual fee, he had gratefully insisted on painting one of his contemporary masterpieces across an entire wall of the doctor’s waiting room. The mural turned out to be an immense multi-colored picture of…
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