Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you know…
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A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony…
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A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well then, let it read, ‘Billy Bob died.” Amused at the woman’s thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma’am there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries.” Only a little…
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A lady who had already had several drinks, walks into a bar, slumps on the bar and asks the bartender for a “martoonie wid a pickle in it”. The bartender somewhat amused by her request, fixes her a martini and places an olive in it. As soon as the bartender places the drink in front of the lady, she picks up the glass, downs the drink, slams the glass on the bar and says “Bartender, gimme anoder martoonie wid a…
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There was this man and this woman on a plane and the woman turned to the man and said, “I’m really horny and I want it now.” The man said, “Not now and especially not on this plane.” So the woman makes a suggestion, “You un-zip your pants and I’ll do the rest.” So the man finally agrees and she sits on his lap. The woman decides to ask the people in front of her, “Where are you guys going?”…
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A man and his wife are out playing golf. They tee off and his drive goes to the right while her drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups. Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. The mystery woman looks at the wife…
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A group of novitiates had been in monastery surroundings for a year and a half were allowed a trip to visit an associate brotherhood in the city of Pittsburg. They went to the train station, but upon arrival were nervous by the prospect of approaching the very busty ticket clerk wearing a lowcut blouse. After exchanging uneasy glances, the bravest of the bunch stepped forward and said: “I’d like five tits to Pittsburg.” Realizing what he had said, he blushed…
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Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, “Doc, I’m getting married this weekend and my fiancee thinks I’m a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try. On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it’s your…
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A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, “Preacher, I don’t believe the Bible mentions PMS.” The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and he would look for it. The following week after the service, the preacher called the…
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How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…
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