Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to…
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A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere — your place or my place, it doesn’t matter to me.” The guy raises his eyebrows and says, “No shit, what law firm do you work for?”
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Reasons to Love Men 1. They’ve got that comfortable place on their shoulder that’s perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. 2. They’re at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. 3. They’re enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we’re not. 4. They’re beyond enthusiastic about sex. 5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. 6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.…
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A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you,” she said politely.” “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.” “That must be rather difficult,” the man replied. “Oh, I don’t mind too much,” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”
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A woman got home from work one-day and said “Honey pack your things I won the lottery”, the husband said “Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?” She said “I dont care just get the hell out!
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An old man and a old woman get married. After the reception, they go to their hotel room. The old man is waiting in bed as his new wife removes her clothes. As soon as she is ready, she says, “Now, we have to be careful, I have acute angina.” The old man says, “You better, because you sure have some ugly tits!!”
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Hillary Rodham Clinton, role model for women who scare their husbands into cheating everywhere, has decided to have a trial separation from hubby Bill. She reportedly said that she has enough embarassment from living through a year long scandal, woman after woman, a rape charge, and having to watch Bill run to McDonalds in those really tight shorts. Hillary decided to separate herself from Bill, after trying for 17 years to separate him from evey other woman in Arkansas. She…
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Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about ten feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation, saying, “This is marvelous. What enabled women here to achieve this wonderful reversal of roles?” The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”
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Two hillbillies are having the lunch special at the local diner when they hear an awful choking sound. They turn around to see a woman turning blue from wolfing down a Possumburger too fast. Jethro says to Wilbur, “Think we oughta help?” “Yep” says Wilbur, who walks over to the lady and says, “Kin you breathe?” She shakes her head no. “Kin you talk?” he asks, and again she shakes her head. With that, he grabs her ankles and flips…
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Two Texans were having lunch at their favorite restaurant when they noticed a young woman at the next table having trouble breathing. One of the Texans got up, walked over to her table, took her face in his big Texan hands and said, “Kin ya swaller?” She shook her head ‘no.’ “Kin ya breath?” Again she shakes her head ‘no.’ The Texan grabs her around the waist with one of his big Texan hands, turns her over, pulls up her…
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