Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A couple of drinking buddies who are airplane mechanics are in a hanger in New York Airport; it’s fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other “Man, have you got anything to drink?” “Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, that’ll kinda give you a buzz.” So they do, get smashed and have a beautiful time. The following morning, one of them wakes up and he knows his head will explode…
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A couple decide to go to a Halloween party one year. So they dressed up as two cows and headed out for the party.. While on their way, the car broke down and they were stranded. As the man walked around the car kicking and cussing , He noticed the house they were going to was just accross the pasture. “Well,” said the man. “I guess we can walk through the pasture and be there in a minute or two…
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A traveling salesman had been on the road for two months and was finally on his way home. Feeling bad about having been away from his children so long, he decided to buy them a gift. So he stopped by a pet store and bought them a cute little puppy. Unfortunately, he was stopped on his way in by a stewardess who told him, “I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t allow animals.” In desperation, the man popped into the men’s…
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One day there was a lady who wanted to have her wallpaper put up. She didn’t feel like learning how, so she hired a contractor. The contractor came out for the estimate, and she told him that she wanted red in the living room. The man wrote it down and yelled out of an open window “GREEN SIDE UP!”. The lady was a bit shocked, needless to say. She thought the man was a little peculiar. The dining room was…
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station… What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? If Stop & Shop and the A&P were to merge would it be called Stop & P? I believe five out of…
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Once there was this woman who was, sad to say, very flat chested. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted women walking away with handsome guys finally got the best of her. She decided that she would have large tits at any cost. At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She went everywhere,…
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Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards. December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. December 3 Using candlewick and handgilded miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener. December 4 Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim. December 5 Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself. December 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee…
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As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes” or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!”). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion are the followings: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message…
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Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have happened since the beginning of the month! (While full of hope, I wrote you a letter.) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I absolutely wrecked my brain studying all year! Not only was I first in my class, but I…
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Name:Woman Symbol:WO Atomic weight:(Don’t go there) Physical Properties:Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties:Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Also able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage:Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful…
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