Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man is walking around New York with his wife. They find a perfume shop, the wife goes in, and he waits outside. A hooker comes along and says to him, “Like to come home with me, buddy?” “For how much?” asks the man. “One hundred dollars.” “I’ll give you five bucks.” The hooker swears at him and walks away. A little later, the man’s wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk. As they round a…
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1. Pick up cat and cradle it in your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from under table and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw…
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A very wealthy man went to an auction to realize he was just in time to bid for the next item, a talking parrot. This man started the bidding at $1,000. He heard a bid for a total of $5,000, and he finally made a bid for $10,000, which was the final bid. When he came to pick up the parrot, he asked if it could really talk. The answer was: “Sure, who do you think was bidding against you?”
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An armless man walks into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He orders a drink, and when he is served, asks the bartender if he will get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliges him. He then asks if the bartender will tip the glass to his lips. The bartender does this until the man finishes his drink. After this, he asks the bartender if he will get…
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A farmer decided it was time to take a wife, so he went to the city and found a woman who agreed to marry him. The only problem was she knew absolutely nothing about farming, and told him that. He told her not to worry, he would handle all the farm things. One day, a few years later, the Farmer told his wife that the next morning he would have to go to town. He told her that the vet…
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An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?” The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.” The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help…
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A construction worker tells his doctor, “I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a few minutes and says, “Lean over the table.” After he does so, the doctor whacks him on his ass, with a baseball bat. A loud “CRACK!” is heard, and the doctor sends the man to the bathroom. After coming out of the bathroom, the construction worker says, “I feel great! What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?” The doctor says, “Stop wiping your…
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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “yes you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must work in Information Technology” says the balloonist. “I do” replies the man. How did you know.” “Well” says the balloonist, “everything you…
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The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.” “Uh huh,” said the old man. “We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon,” said the old woman. “Uh huh,” said the old man. “And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon,” said the old woman.…
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A man walks into an agents office and says “I want to be on TV.” The agent replies, “Well, what do you do?” The Man says, “Well, I can’t sing or dance, but I can do this…” He pulls down his pants and starts to whistle ‘Dixie’ out of his Ass. “THAT’S FANTASTIC!” the agent says, “Hang on a minute,” he picks up the phone and calls one of his agent friends, “Listen to this” he says to his friend…
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