Man a man Jokes - page 34

Two French brothers were in England, visiting long-lost relatives, their very sophisticated English cousins. Having high tea with Lady Windham, Pierre was making chit-chat: “Tell us about your children, Dear Cousin.” “Oh,” said the Englishwoman, “alas, I have no children.” “I see,” pipe in Jean-Claude, “you are FRUITLESS.” Seeing the expression on Lady Windham’s face, Pierre said, “I think the proper term is UNBEARABLE.” “Non, non,” corrected Jean-Claude. “I’ve got it now: she’s IMPREGNABLE.” The lady winced, and Pierre said,…

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A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere — your place or my place, it doesn’t matter to me.” The guy raises his eyebrows and says, “No shit, what law firm do you work for?”

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Two elderly gentleman are sitting on the porch, just rockin’ and taking in the day. First man asks: “Tell me John, I am curious, have you been gettin’ a little on the side?” John looks a bit puzzled and responds: “To tell you the truth, it’s been so damn long, I didn’t even know they moved it…”

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A big, nasty biker walked into a bar and shouldered his way into the middle of the bar. After ordering a beer, he yelled in a loud voice, “Everyone on this side of the room is a stupid ass.” No-one moved. After taking another drink, he again yelled, “Everyone on that side of the room is a damn queer.” Still no-one moved. Suddenly, he noticed a frail looking guy sneaking across the back of the room, and yelled, “Where the…

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A career military man, who had retired as a corporal, was telling the younger men how he handled officers during his 20 years of service. “It didn’t matter a hoot if he was a Major General, an Admiral, or the Commander-in-Chief. I always told those guys exactly where to get off.” “Wow! You musta been something!” the admiring young soldiers remarked. “What was your job in the service?” “Elevator operator at the Pentagon.”

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