Man a man Jokes - page 28

Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards. December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. December 3 Using candlewick and handgilded miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener. December 4 Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim. December 5 Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself. December 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee…

(1)Loading...

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, “Give me Liberty, or give me death?” She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up, “Patrick Henry, 1775,” said the boy. “Now,” said the teacher, “Who said ‘Government of the people, by the…

(2)Loading...

This ventriloquist was playing a club and happened to crack a series of jokes about hillbillies. His dander rising, one young man in the club finally stood and said, “Hey, Ah’m gettin’ tired of these here jokes. Not all of us is dumb, y’know.” The flustered ventriloquest appologized, “It was all in jest, sir. Please don’t take it so seriously!” “Shaddup,” snarled the hillbilly, “Ain’t talkin’ to you. I’m talking to that wood fella on yar knee.”

(0)
Loading...