Man a man Jokes - page 268

Avon Calling

An Avon lady gets on to an elevator after going door to door in a high-rise apartment complex. After going back down three floors, she rips the loudest most foul-smelling fart anyone’s ever done figuring no one would get on with her. The elevator stops at the next floor. Thinking fast she pulls out a bottle of a pine-scented fragrance and sprays it all over the elevator as much as she can before the door opens. A man got on…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAvon Calling

Sex Life in your Eighties

An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, ?Oh oh!? The old geezer asked the doctor what the problem was. ?Well,? said the doc, ?you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you drink in excess? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you have a sex life?? ?Yes, of course I do!? exclaimed the man. ?Well,? explained the doc, ?I?m afraid…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSex Life in your Eighties

The idiot

This story took place at a mental hospital. The mentally retarded group of young men gathered around the swimming pool which did not have a drop of water. They pretended swimming with different styles and techniques just like the pool was full of water. The doctor was watching the group and noticed there was one man who did not swim, so he walked up to the patient: Doctor: why are you not swimming? Young man: Haha, you must not be…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe idiot

A Condition of Probation

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.” Monday, the two guys were in…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA Condition of Probation

Special Perks

Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day, as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man, casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt, got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she said in a scolding manner, “Dressed a little casually today, aren’t we?” The man replied, “That’s one benefit of owning the company!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSpecial Perks

Lawyers & Genies

A man was walking along the beach when he saw a half buried ornate bottle. He picked it up and after examining it closely, removed the decorative stopper. As expected, a cloud of smoke blew out and a Genie appeared. The Genie informed the man that he was now the Genie’s master and was granted three wishes, but with a rider attached. The Genie proceeded to announce that his previous master was a lawyer and the third wish was for…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLawyers & Genies

Mom and Catsup

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it. “It’s the Minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then she said to him, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMom and Catsup

How Life will be Different Now That Hillary’s Moved Out

Top 10 ways the White House will be different now that Hillary has moved out: 10. President no longer sleeps alone. 9. Faucets in master bathroom now dispense scented massage oil and gravy. 8. Forget dress-down Friday—now all-nude Friday and pantless Monday through Thursday. 7. Volumes of Hillary fan mail redirected to new house. 6. Hillary no longer writing volumes of fan mail to herself. 5. No pressure to cuddle. 4. Token male intern transferred out. 3. Oval office now…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHow Life will be Different Now That Hillary’s Moved Out

Your Mama

Your Mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale. Your Mama is so black that she could swim through tar and leave a streak. Your Mama is so dumb that we rode past the YMCA and she said “Look, somebody spelled MACY’S wrong.” Your Mama so dumb that I taught her the running man and haven’t seen her since. Your Mama so old that she knew Captain Crunch since he was a private.

(2)Loading...

Read JokeYour Mama