Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all…
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Warning: Some of these facts may have expired. Was written in 1995. Also, this is VERY long, but PLEASE read it all… Q. What was the longest MONOPOLY game ever? A. 70 days Q. How many little green houses have been built since the MONOPOLY game began? A. Approximately 5.1 Billion Q. What is the longest MOMOPOLY game ever played upside down? A. 36 hours Q. What’s the most frequently rolled number with the dice? A. 7 Q. What’s the…
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A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other. She asks, “What’s this for?” “This is for your headache,” he says. She replies, “But I don’t have a headache.” He smiles and says, “Gotcha!”
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A fellow was about to enter a bar when a dog said to him, “Hey, mister! Wanna make some quick money?” The man couldn’t believe his ears. He said to the dog, “Can you talk?” “Yeah,” the dog answered, “and that’s how we can pick up some easy money. You take me into the bar with you, pretend I’m your dog, and bet everybody I can talk.” The fellow thought that was a great idea, so he took the dog…
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Mr. Swiller was known far and wide as a hard-nose boss who watched his employees like a hawk. He was making one of his regular tours of the factory when he spotted a young man leaning against a pile of boxes just outside the foreman’s office. Since George, the foreman, wasn’t around, Swiller stood off to the side and watched to see just how long the young man would stand around doing nothing. The young man yawned, scratched his head,…
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A bartender was cleaning off the counter when a man ran in out of breath. He then asked the bartender, “Quick, I’ve gotta know. How tall is a penguin?” The puzzled bartender replied, “What?!?” The man said, “PLEASE JUST TELL ME! How tall is a penguin?” The bartender then held up his hands and said, “Uhh, about this tall.” The man but his head down on the counter and said, “Ohh my God, I’ve run over a nun.”
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The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…
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A very tight man was looking for a gift for a friend. Everything was too expensive except for a glass vase that had been broken, which he could purchase for almost nothing. He asked the store to send it, hoping his friend would think it was broken in transit. In due time, he received an acknowledgement. “Thanks for the vase,” it read. “It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately.”
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An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him. “Sir, what is the secret for your long life?” The man considered this for a moment, then replied, “Every day at 9 p.m. I have a glass of port. Good for the heart, I’ve heard.” The reporter replied, “That’s ALL?” The man smiled, “That, and canceling my voyage on the Titanic.”
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The president of France, Germany, and Bill Clinton sat down at a nice restaurant to eat and talk in France. After a few minutes, the waiter walks up to them, and says to the French president, “Le wine, monsier?” Because that’s what most French people drink, he nods his head. Then the waiter walks up to the German president and says, “Le vodka, monsier?” Because that is what most people in Germany drink, and nods his head. The the waiter…
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