Man a man Jokes - page 185

drunken men

A bunch of guys get together for a night on the town. After a very long night of drinking they all decide to go back to one of the guy’s house. He tells all the boys that his wife won’t mind getting up to fix them a late snack. That is just what they do. They all go back to his house. He tells the boys to go grab a beer out of the fridge while he wakes his wife.…

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Call the Police!

The Baltimore Police Department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken back by this recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on all channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. The K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a tight leash. The woman ran out…

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Eternal Youth

The police recently arrested a man selling tablets which he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through the files, the police noticed it was the fourth time the man was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1798, 1850 and 1909.

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Hoshimota

An American businessman goes on business to Japan. He tells his assistant that night to get him some ‘entertainment.’ So his assistant gets him a hooker. The whole night this Japanese hooker keeps screaming, ‘Hoshimota, hoshimota!’ He thinks he is doing it really, really good. The next morning he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner, who makes a hole in one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and patting him on the back. The…

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Wish for peace

An elderly man was walking along the beach in miamI while his wife slept late at their hotel. He came upon a bottle with a cork. He pulled the cork and lo and behold, out came an enormous genie. “Hello, genie”, said Morris. “I will grant you one wish,” said the genie, “and if I can’t grant that wish, I will grant you another one.” “Ok” said Morris. He picked up a shell and drew a map in the sand.…

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3 men and their wives

There were three men: one from Ohio, one from Virginia and one from West Virginia. They all took their wives to dinner for their anniversary. The man from Ohio said, “Pass the honey, honey.” The man from Virgina said, “Pass the sugar, sugar.” And the man from West Virgina said, “Pass the tea, bag!!”

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Cute Insults…

Some cute insults are : 1. I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be! 2. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent! 3. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? 4. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 5. At least there is one thing good about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face! 6. Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!

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Tire sale

A husband and wife were sitting at the breakfast table and the man was reading the ads in the paper. He looked up and said, “Here is a great sale on tires!” His wife replied, “What do you want tires for? You don’t have a car.” He came back with, “I don’t complain when you go out and buy a new bra!”

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God’s Gift to Women

Two women were chatting at the local rodeo when they noticed a man strut by . . . shirtless and wearing tight cut-off shorts. “He must think,” the first woman said, shaking her head, “that he is God’s gift to women.” The second one laughed and said, “I hope he kept the receipt.”

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