Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An astronaut landed on the moon and after exiting his spacecraft was leisurely exploring the moon’s surface. As he rounded a large boulder he came upon a beautiful girl standing next to a large black cauldron, the contents of which she was stirring with a long spoon. “Hello!” said the astronaut, “I am from the earth. What are you doing?” “Hello,” replied the moon maiden. “I live here on the moon and I am making a baby.” “How interesting!” responded…
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A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.” The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll…
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To share to whom it may concern: I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that its a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a…
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*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…
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His baloney has a first name, It’s “I-did-not-inhale.” His baloney has a second name, “I-wasn’t-getting-tail.” Oh, he loves to sling it every day… The White House people all just saaaaaay… That Bill Clinton has-a-way Of making bullshit sound o-kaaay.
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A lovely young Jewish girl was employed by a clothing firm in New York. She and her widowed mother shared the same ambition: marriage to a wealthy man. One day she returned from work, eyes red from crying. As soon as she entered the apartment she called, “MAMA, I’m pregnant! Don’t get excited. The father is my boss.” She began to sob uncontrollably while her mother tried to console her. The next morning, the mother charged into the office of…
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Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on The Reply: ———- Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge…
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A PRETTY GIRL WENT TO CHURCH FOR CONFESION. THE PRIEST ASKED HER, “WHAT IS THE MATTER.” SHE THEN SAID, “MY BOYFRIEND DID SOMETHING BAD TO ME.” THE PASTOR NOW KISSED HER AND SAID. “DID HE DO THIS TO YOU?” SHE SAID, “NO” HE HUGGED HER AND ASKED, “DID HE DO THIS TO YOU?” SHE SAID, “NO.” HE NOW PULLED OFF HER CLOTHES AND ASKED, “DID HE DO THIS TO YOU?” SHE SAID, “NO.” HE NOW MADE LOVE TO HER AND…
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Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where…
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A man and his wife always loved to go on the helicopter rides at the carnival, but they didn’t like the $10.00 per ride. So the man started negotiating with the pilot. Finally, the pilot agreed to let them fly for free ONLY if they could last the entire flight without making a single sound. So the helicopter took off. The pilot tried swerving and sudden stops, even 360 spins, but the whole time, he didn’t hear a peep out…
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