Mak Jokes - page 90

The Witch and the spiders

Once there were these three REALLY stupid spiders. All they ever wanted was to be smart. So, one day, they decided that they would go to a witch and see if she could make them smart. “So, you want to be smart,huh?”, the witch asked. “Ok, I will make you smart but first, you must go out and learn three facts by yourselves to prove that you really want to be smart.” The spiders agreed and were on their way.…

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pickup lines

1. Hey baby, why don’t you sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that POPS up!!! 2. (motion for girl to come here with one finger), “If I can make you come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!” 3. Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 4.If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? 5. Fuck me if I’m wrong….but haven’t we met before? 6. Do…

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Listen to Poppa

Angelina and Giuseppi were standing before the judge in divorce court. Angelina says: “Your Honor, we beena marry 25 years ana Giuseppi he’s always picka his nose ana when we maka love, he’s a never letsa me on top. I just canna taka dis no more.” The judge listens solemnly, then addresses Giuseppi. “Giuseppi, isa dis true? You always a picka your nose, and you never let Angelina on top? What you gotta say fora yourself, eh?” Giuseppa says, “Well,…

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You work in Corporate America if…..

1. You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. 2. Your company’s welcome sign is attached with Velcro. 3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 4. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. 5. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. 6. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets…

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When Men Say…It Means

Haven’t we met before? = Nice ass. I like moonlight walks on the beach. = I’m broke. I need you. = I’m getting too old to be chokin’ the chicken. It’s just orange juice…try it. = One of these, she’ll have her legs around my head. She’s a stuck-up bitch. = She won’t sleep with me. Sorry I don’t have time to make you breakfast? = Who the fuck are you? I have something to tell you. = Get tested.…

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Dear God,

Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? Jane Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? Neil Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed…

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Read JokeDear God,

Island girl

A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is very glad to see the second man there. “This is wonderful! Now we’ll be able to have…

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The little boy and the duck

It was back in the olden times when you drove carriages not cars. A little boy and his father lived outside of the town. The father told his son, he had to go to town and sell his pet duck because they needed the money. So the little boy is walking in the town and he is looking depressed and a woman is standing on the street and notices him. She walks up to him and says, “Why don?t you…

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