Mak Jokes - page 13

Easy Money

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.” The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll…

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Go fish

A country lad applied for a salesman job at a city department store. In fact, it was the largest store in the world. The boss asked, “Have you ever been a salesman before?” “Yes, I was a salesman in the country,” said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said. “You can start tomorrow and I’ll come by when we close to see how you’re doing.” The day was long and arduous for the lad, but finally…

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Who Did It?

The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge, goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows little Johnny, as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them, and if little Johnny said that…

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Bob and Larry

Bob and Larry were out chopping wood one day. As they were chopping, Bob slipped and cut off his arm. Picking it up and placing it in a bag, Bob and Larry went to the Doctor. The Doctor looked at the situation and stated, “This should not be a problem. Reatatching an arm is easy. Larry come back in an hour.” So Larry left too chop some more wood. Thirty minutes later he went back to the Doctor, who told…

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Scale Talk

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. “What’s it for?” one asked. “I don’t know,” the other replied. “I think you stand on it, and it makes you mad…at least it does that for my Mom and Dad.”

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Chelsea’s Wisdom

Vice President Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make someone very happy.” Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy.” Hillary tosses her perfectly coifed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the…

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Beer Test

Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive. — No further testing is planned.

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two bums

So this lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out…caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But…

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payback time

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money…

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Payment arrangements

The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I have mentioned you in my will.” “That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then added, “May I see that prescription I just gave you? I’d like to make a little change…”

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