Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. 3. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry,…
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If you receive and e-mail with a subject line of “Armageddon”, delete it immediately without ever reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus the earth has ever seen. It will re-write your hard drive in Braille. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and low-fat milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit…
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Similarities between Santa Claus and System Administrators: 1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. 2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. 3. Santa seldom answers your mail. 4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he’s got, he says, “Elves make it for me.” 5. Santa doesn’t care about your deadlines. 6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves. 7. Nobody…
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What do you call a man with no arms & no legs on your porch? Mat What do you call a man with no arms & no legs in your mail box? Bill What do you call a man with no arms & no legs on your kitchen stove? Stu What do you call a man with no arms & no legs water skiing? Skip What do you call a man with no arms & no legs on your wall?…
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1. You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up. 2. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before… 3. You can see individual air molecules vibrating. 4. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso. 5. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. 6. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. 7.…
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1. Home is where you hang your @ 2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. 7. C:\is the root of all directories. 8. Don’t put all your hypes in one home page. 9. Pentium wise, pen and paper foolish.…
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You know it’s your last day at work when … You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?” you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife. You sneak into your boss’ office and look at some…
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Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college but, the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together. As time…
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My friend’s sister was to be married on short notice, but still wanted an elaborate wedding. The invitations were ready to be mailed when someone noticed that there were no inserted cards inviting guests to the reception. Undaunted, the mother of the bride typed up a note, made 280 copies and enclosed one with each formal invitation. Family and friends were a bit shocked to read: “Conception immediately following the ceremony in the Grand Ballroom of the Holiday Inn. Everyone…
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The “I Love You” virus that infects users of Microsoft’s outlook has morphed. Watch for these variations: – The “I love you, too” virus – Responds with an appropriate letter stating that the user loves you as well. Spreads peace and harmony throughout the corporate workplace, causing lost productivity and chaos on Wall Street as no one tries to screw anyone else out of a deal. – The “I’m looking for more of a commitment” virus – Receives the “I…
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