Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man in D.C. was driving home and got stuck in traffic. He said to himself, “This traffic is worse than normal, we just aren’t moving at all.” He sees a traffic cop walking down between the cars talking to the drivers, so he rolls down his window and asks what’s going on. The officer tells him, “Clinton’s lawyers have just agreed to make an out of court settlement to Paula Jones, without Clinton’s knowledge. Clinton’s just heard about it,…
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A man is speeding his convertible up a steep, narrow, winding mountain road when a woman driving a sedan approaches him from the opposite direction. As they pass, she leans out her window and yells, “PIG!” The man immediately leans out and yells, “BITCH!” As he hurtles around the next corner, he swerves to avoid a large pig standing in the middle of the road, plows through the flimsy fence and crashes to a fiery death. Gee, if only you…
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I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in the dark I did not do it in the park I did not do it on a date I did not ever fornicate I did not do it at a dance I did not do it in her pants I did not get beyond first base I did not do it in her face I never did it…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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A woman goes to the supermarket. She starts walking up and down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch. After doing this a number of times a man approaches her and ask if she is having a problem. She tells him no. He says that he would like to know what she is doing at the beginning of each aisle. She says she is trying to remember her grocery…
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“What’s the difference between the North American porcupine and the African porcupine?” the society matron asked the zookeeper. “The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick.” This, as you might suspect, distressed the prim and proper matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager’s office to protest. The zoo manager said, “Ma’am, I do apologize for my staff’s uncouth choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is that the North American species has a…
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There was a farmer who had a little boy named Albert. One evening the farmer had to go to the barn to pull a calf. After working for several hours, the calf was born. When the farmer turned, Albert was standing behind him and had witnessed the entire incident. The farmer thought to himself how tired he was and how many questions Albert would have about what he had just witnessed. He just did not feel like talkin’ about the…
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Actor Michael Wilding was once asked whether actors had any distinguishing features that set them apart from other human beings. “Without a doubt,” he replied. “You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves.”
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God…. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.” Bill replied,…
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A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to use the bathroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms. He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead all he found was a beautiful fountain with foliage. Nobody was watching, so he decided to take a go right there. When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark…
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