Local school Jokes - page 2

Little Johnny & the hat

Little Johnny woke up one morning with the shits, so he asked his his mom if he could stay home. She told him he could stay home from school, but only if he went to the store to get some medicine first. Johnny asked her what would he do if he had to shit on the way there, or on the way back home. She gave him a hat and told him to go in it if he couldn’t wait.…

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Blondes with Cows

Not too long ago, everyone in our grade went on a school excusion to the local cow milking station. Everyone was really bored, but then again who can find anything interesting about looking at a whole lot of cows being milked except for one girl who had a really confused look on her face. She came up to us, and said, “Do you mind if I ask you a question?” Naturally we said no, not expecting anything too funny (we…

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Cynic’s Dictionary

ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION: Procreation without recreation. BOOKCASE: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and Elvis collectibles. BULIMIA: Retched excess. CHIC: Considered smart without the deadening implication of intelligence. CLIQUE: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. CONSULTANT: A jobless person who shows executives how to work. DENTURES: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one’s grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music. DNA:…

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