Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…
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A blonde whent to a paper company and ordered a roll of paper 1/2 inch wide and 50 feet long. The paper salesman asked the blonde, “Why do you need a paper that size?” The blonde replied, “I am moving and I need to pack my clothes line.”
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If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…
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*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…
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5. I’m not the best looking guy but I can do it all night long. 4.Your daddy must be a farmer, cause those are some great melons. 3.Is that your real hair? 2.You have hair like a lioness. I could be your lion king. 1.Baby you have teeth like a beaver. Would you like to naw on my log?
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You might be a redneck if: The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table…. in front of her kids. Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You think…
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Suppose Edgar Allen Poe Had Used a Computer… Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, Systems manuals piled high and Wasted paper on the floor. Longing for the warmth of bed sheets Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets, Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command, And waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor…
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10. “I hold this truth to be self-evident — you’re a babe.” 9. “I’ve just gone through a terrible break-up with Betsy Ross and I don’t think I should be alone tonight.” 8. “Some people call me the ‘Fondling Father’.” 7. “You know what they say about men with big signatures.” 6. “My teeth aren’t the only thing made of wood.” 5. “If somebody ever invents the telephone, can I give you a call?” 4. “All men are not created…
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1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. 3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. 4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. 5. You should never say…
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EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYES: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is hung. TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is wastching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down, and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. WORRIED:…
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