Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart “associate” standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me, sir…can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from…
(0)
Loading...
Here are some film phrases to help you in your film viewing. Classic- A really boring movie that no-one likes. Ten Best- The 10 worst movies. (Usually Classics) Landmark- A really, REALLY boring movie. (Like 2001) New-Wave- The directors a lunatic, and no-one can make head or tail of the movie. Review- A biased analysis of a movie made by people who care about things like plot, theme and acting; things that have nothing to do with the enjoyment of…
(0)Loading...
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of debris at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of…
(2)Loading...
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a hellofalot cheaper than a doctor.”…
(0)Loading...
TOP TEN REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else…
(0)Loading...
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register. “Cash or charge?” the clerk asked. “Cash,” I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, “I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau.” “Shall I giftwrap the bat?” the clerk asked sweetly. “Or…
(0)Loading...
10. Musical Recliners 9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta 8. Hide and Go Pee 7. Simon Says Something Incoherent 6. Doc, Doc Goose 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over 4. Kick the Bucket. 3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear 2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy And the Number 1 Old Folks Home Party Game … 1. Sag, You’re It!
(2)Loading...
“BIT” = A wager as in, “I bit you cain’t spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways.” “BYTE” = First word in a kiss-off phrase. “CURSOR” = What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend. “FLOPPY” = When ya’ll can’t get it up no more. “DIGITAL CONTROL” = What yore fingers do on the TV remote. “HARD DRIVE” = Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires while pulling a trailer…
(0)Loading...
102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
(4)Loading...
Things we have in Egypt that the rest of the world doesn’t: 1- McDonald’s home delivery (the rest of the world have to get off their lazy butts and go get it). 2-Mollokhya (for some reason our tasty national green slime has not caught on elsewhere). 3- Relaxed driving regulations (apparently, the rest of the world drives around in straight lines, how bizarre!). 4- No drunk-driving laws (well, no breath-analyzers anyway). 5- Magical economics (250 people in a 40 seater…
(0)Loading...