Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The young dude in the Old West wanted to be the fastest gunfighter alive. Sitting in a saloon one night, he spotted an old graybeard who had the reputation of having been the greatest gunslinger of his day. The kid sidled up to the old man and told him of his dream. The ancient legend looked him up and down and said, “I got a suggestion that’s sure to help.” “Tell me, tell me!” said the newbie. “Tie the bottom…
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1. Marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring wedding ring suffering 2. Marriages are made in heaven… Then again, so are thunder and lightning 3. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The problem is WHICH ONE? 4. Marriage is not a word. It is a life long exclamation. 5. Marriage is when fantasy wins over reality. Reality bites! 6. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.…
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On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of relationships in my life, but…
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Be on the lookout for the following personalities last seen cruising in these automobiles… A Pyromaniac in a Blazer… A barber in a Seville… A seamstress in a Dart… An insurance adjuster in an Acclaim… A construction worker in a Bobcat… A creature in a black Laguna… A theater manager in a Marquis… An astronomer in an Eclipse… An exterminator in a Beetle… A spiritualist in an Aurora… An orator in a Civic… A country singer in a blue Neon……
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Midget walks into a bar, throws a five dollar bill on the table and says to the bartender, “Give me a five dollar shot of your best whiskey! And who’s the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight?” The bartender pours the midget a nice healthy shot of Crown Royal and says, “Well, I’d say the large fellow at the end of the bar is the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight.” Well the midget…
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A priest, a minister and a rabbi have a talk one day. The priest says, “Once I went to Jerusalem to see the Holy Land and suddenly there was a terrible storm at sea. Everybody prepared to die but I started to pray to the Lord and a wonder had happened: everywhere it was still storm but there was nothing around the ship and we got safely to the land.” “That’s quite a story,” says the minister, “Actually something like…
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Several years ago, I returned home from a business trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 AM, I found my two children in bed with my wife, Stacey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the kids, explaining that it was “OK” to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad,…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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Subject: 40 Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by actual journalists) 1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents 6. Farmer Bill Dies in House 7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? 9. Stud Tires Out 10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope…
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One sunny summer day four rabbis are having a discussion on some part of the Torrah. Three agree on one explanation but the fourth one stands on the other. Being tired of this conversation he raises his arms and says, “God, give me a sign to prove that I’m right!” Suddenly, thunder clouds appear out of nowhere and cover the sky. The three other rabbis think for a while and say, “Nah, that’s just a coincidence” So, the rabbi raises…
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