Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two opposing laywers in a big civil lawsuit are both called into Judge Judy’s chamber. Judge Judy looks sternly at both men and says, “Yesterday, Mr. Martin here gave me ten thousand dollars so that I can render the decision in his favor. That same afternoon Mr. Rowan here paid me a visit and gave me fifteen thousand dollars so that I will look at his cause more favorably.” Mr. Rowan and Mr. Martin are now squirming in their seats…
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“I have to tell you the truth,” a young man said to his new girlfriend. “While we’ve been dating, I’ve been secretly seeing a psychiatrist.” “Don’t worry about it,” the girl told him. “I’ve been secretly seeing a computer programmer and a lawyer.”
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The Old Witness A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You…
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Q: My ex-wife, my Lawyer and Bill Clinton all meet on top of the World Trade center. After chatting for about an hour they all walk over to the edge, look down, and all jump over the edge at the same time. Who do you think will hit the ground first. A: Who really cares !!!
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Morris calls his son in New York and says, “Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don’t want to discuss it. I’m merely telling you because you’re my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I’ve made up my mind, I’m divorcing Mama.” The son is shocked and asks his father to tell him what happened. “I don’t want to get into it. My mind is made up.” “But Dad, you just can’t decide to divorce…
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A man walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are jerks!” Upon hearing this a man at the other end of the bar storms up to the man and belts, “You’ve offended me!!” “Why,” the first man asked, “are you a lawyer?” “No, I’m a jerk!”
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Cautioning the witness to remember that she was under oath, the lawyer asked, “How old are you?” “Twenty-nine and some months,” she replied. “How many months?” “One hundred and ninety-six.”
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THE BALLAD OF JOHN AND LORENA BOBBIT (sing to the theme of the Beverly Hillbillies) Come and listen to my story of a man named John, A poor ex-Marine with a little fraction gone. It seems one night after gettin with his wife, She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife. “Penis, that is,” “Clean cut, missed his nuts” Well the next thing you know there’s a Ginsu by his side. And Lorena’s in the car takin’…
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Some very important questions to ask yourselves. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called “Poles”, why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes”? If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip’s Screwdriver? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig…
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A man on the psychiatrist’s couch tells the doctor that everyone hates him. “Nonsense,” says the doctor. “But tell me why you think everyone hates you.” “For starters,” says the painter. “I’m not white.” “That’s no reason to be hated,” counsels the doctor. “That’s true,” agrees the man on the couch. “But you see, I am also not a Christian.” “Again,” says the doctor. “That’s no reason for people to hate you.” “True,” says the patient. “But then, I am…
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