Laughing man Jokes - page 5

desirable traits

The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what I looked for in a woman. Naturally I replied, “Big tits.” He said, “No, I meant for a serious relationship.” So I said, “Oh, seriously big tits.” “No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?” He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing…

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Satisfying Others

After dinner, dancing, and a moonlit stroll under the moon, a young man and his highly experienced date retire to his apartment for some extra-curricular activities. The action is hot, and soon both find themselves naked in his bed. Suddenly, the woman starts laughing uncontrollably at the sight of his little penis, and asks her new boyfriend, “Who do you plan on pleasing with that little thing?” Without missing a beat the young man replies, “Me!”

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Biker Gang

A gang of bikers walk into a bar and orders a few drinks each. After 10 minutes or so, one of them notices a small man, in his 30’s, slightly overweight and balding. He whispers to the others, and they all start to walk slowly over to the table at which he is sitting. Finding him vulnerable and defenseless, they begin to tease him. Some poke him with their forks, others drop their cigarettes into his coffee, all the while…

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Patrolmen’s Ball

The woman in question, a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled over for speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book she said: “I bet you’re going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen’s Ball.” He replied, “No, Highway Patrolmen don’t have balls.” There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he’d said. He then closed his book, got back…

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I Like Monkeys

I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in…

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