Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. “How are you, Grandpa?” he asks. “Feeling fine,” says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus.” “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take good care of me.” “What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?” “No problem at all, nine hours solid every night. At 10 o’clock, they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet . . .…
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December 14th Dearest John: I went to the door today and UPS was here with a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes December 15th Dearest John: Today, UPS brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves? I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16th Dear John: Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now…
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1. Men are like department stores…. their clothes should always be half off. 2. Men are like vacations…. they never seem to be long enough. 3. Men are like computers… hard to figure out and never have enough memory. 4. Men are like coolers… load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. 5. Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like coffee…. the best ones are rich,…
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Father Delany was walking home after his sermon late one night when he came upon an intoxicated tramp on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the man, “Do you live here?” “Yesh,” the man slowly replied. “Would you like me to help you upstairs?” the father asked. “Yesh,” the man slowly sputtered. When they got up to the second floor, the father asked, “Is this your floor?” “Yesh,” the man again replied. Then Father Delany got to thinking that…
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Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, “When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to…
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Little Johnny was getting ready for his bath one night, when he asked his mom if he could take a shower like the grown-ups do. “Alright,” his mom said, “but I’ve got to take it with you, cause you’re too little.” In the shower, Little Johnny pointed to his mother’s chest and said,”What are those, mommy?” “These are my headlights, Johnny.” “Then what is that?” he said pointing down there. “That’s the grass,” said his mother. Johnny thought nothing of…
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Back in the olden days, a man was traveling through Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching, and the man had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that it would be all right, and that he could sleep in the barn. The man went into the barn to bed down and the farmer went back into the house. The farmer’s daughter came down from upstairs…
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One night there were two guys sitting around a fire. One guy turns around and says, “Do you want a beer?” The other guy replies, “No, better not. Last time I got drunk, I blew chunks”. So they’re still sitting around and about an hour later, the first guy is just wasted. He asked again, “Are you sure you don’t want a beer?” The second guy says “No, last time I blew chunks.” The first guy said, “Don’t be a…
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Two guys go on a camping trip up into the mountains, and they have a wonderful time. By about the fourth day, however, they’ve run out of things to talk about and are starting to get on each others nerves. So on the fourth night, as they’re having dinner, one of the guys makes a suggestion to his friend. “Look, we’ve been having a pretty good time up here, but let’s face it…after four days together we’ve run out of…
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A woman was looking for a room to stay at. She went to the nearest house and knocked on the door. When the owner of the house answered, the woman asked, “Do you have a room I can stay at tonight?” The man said, “Yeah, but you’ve got to sleep with my retarded son.” She said, “No, thanks anyways.” She went to the next house. When the owners answered the door, she asked for a room. They said, “Okay, but…
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