Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I was in an ice cream parlor with my friend the other day, Sunday I believe. We watched as a very old limozine pulled up front and parked. A lovely older lady and a small young female ,about 6 years old got out and walked into the parlor. The well dressed older lady asked the young girl what kind of ice cream did she want for her birthday party? The young girl replied ‘Chocolate”. The young man behind the counter…
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(ACTUAL NOTES–UNEDITED!): 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1997. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also…
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Little Johnny’s mother took her 6-year-old son with her to the bank. They were in line behind a rather obese lady. As the mother patiently waited, Little Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, “Hey, Mom, she’s really fat.” The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile. Little’ Johnny received a reprimand. After a minute or two, Little Johnny spread his hands as far as they will…
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A young lady went to the doctor for her annual physical. The doctor told her to undress and sit on the examining table. She did as she was told and when the doctor turned around from his desk to examine her he noticed two big scabs on her knees. He said, ” My god what happened to your knees?” She said that they were caused by doing it doggie style. The doctor gave her some ointment and said that until…
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The following are direct quotes taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.…
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Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus, we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled. –=[|]=– A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back,…
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silverwalls which could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this, Father?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life; I don’t know what it is.” While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady…
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A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. “But why?” asked the disappointed wife. She hemmed and hawed and said she didn’t want to say, but the wife was…
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A bored blonde decides to do something wild, something she hasn’t done before, so she decides to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds stimulating. She drives home, opens a bottle of wine, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there’s nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. “I…
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One day Father Murphy couldn’t find his cat. Once he did, he found it in a tree. The tree was too high for him to climb so he tied a rope to the branch and the other end to his truck. He began to pull the branch down and was almost done when the rope broke. The cat went soaring through the air. He went all through the neighborhood to see if anyone saw it but no one did. A…
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